Autobiography
Harold R “Hal” and Mary Kay Southwick Bunderson
And Biographical Profiles of Our Parents, Siblings and Grandparents
The family history part of our genealogical research
INTRODUCTION
book structure and observations
Description of how the book is organized - my late wife, Mary Kay’s participation
and Influence in writing this book - and my observations.
In a sense, biographies are case studies; histories that illustrate the consequences of good and poor choices; a useful lens to see and evaluate the probable long-term consequences of our own choices.
I have written this book to facilitate such assessment. Each chapter, appendix or section is made up of individual stories or topics with headlines that also serve as an index to the applicable chapter and appendix. I have added my commentary to certain headlined stories when it seemed useful to provide background, tell corroborating stories or give explanation.
This approach has published precedent. I used it when writing the second edition to the book “Idaho Entrepreneurs” for Boise State University scholarships - published in December, 2019 (Chapter 13). This simplified approach may be helpful to anyone writing their own biographies.
Before Mary Kay passed away, she set the tone for writing this book. After her passing, she was my inspiration. Her journals and files provided first-hand documentation for many stories. We agreed to edit out excessive detail - and exclude full names if we felt such disclosure could embarrass, serve no useful purpose or break confidences.
Index
- Description of the 24 chapters and 9 appendices
- Mary Kay – a major inspiration for writing this book
- “It needs more humor”
- Mary Kay’s example showed us how to “empty our pockets”
- Mary Kay met her challenges with faith, grace and optimism
- Like a living hand removed from a lifeless glove - She lives in the world of spirits
- My work on earth is not yet complete
- Life stories are case studies – they can help us make better choices
- Concluding thought
Description of the 24 chapters and 9 appendices
Chapters: Seventeen chapters are autobiographical, a selection of stories about Mary Kay and me and our children while they were in our home. The next six chapters are devoted to our extended family:
Chapters 1-10: One chapter devoted to each circumstance or city in which we lived.
Chapters 11-17: Are topic-based - a single chapter devoted to matters that occurred in more than one city or would be better understood if treated separately: Chapter 11 - My professional career at Arthur Andersen & Co.; 12 - Service in our communities; 13 - Author and author-editor of books; 14 - Secondary businesses; 15 - People who lived in our home for extended periods; 16 - Church service; and Chapter 17 - My 14 years as an Idaho State Senator.
Chapters 18 through 23: Profile the lives of our parents, siblings and grandparents. Chapter 20 is largely taken from the limited-edition book, “Our Immigrant Heritage,” a biography that Mary Kay and I published in June, 2012 for the William Rudolph and Irene Roe Bunderson Family Reunion – also available electronically at the (Utah) Family History Library and The Genealogical Society of Utah/Family Search.
Unfortunately, some of the biographies of our ancestors and siblings are incomplete because we lacked documented stories. We encourage those still living to write their biographies.
Appendices: The nine appendices are topic based and seek to provide objective background information and analysis. Certain information in Appendices 1 through 5 may be a bit new for many people. Albeit, they may have heard or read about some of the events included therein, but not sequenced, presented and documented in a wholistic chronological context.
Appendix 1 – Is a sequence of scriptural and other quotations that provide an overview of the primary phases of “Our Father in Heaven’s Plan of Happiness aka the Fullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It tells of our premortal life and divine heritage; mortal life; the world of spirits where we all go when our mortal body dies; our literal resurrection and final judgement based on our desires, choices and actions in mortality and the world of spirits; and finally our assignment to one of God’s eternal worlds of glory: Celestial, Terrestrial or Telestial; analogous to the amount light from the sun, moon and stars. (1 Corinthians 15: 40-42 and D&C 76: 92-107 and 131: 1). “In my Father’s house are many mansions.” (John 14: 2).
Commentary - I have known people, who, after learning about their divine heritage and destiny, have said, “I think I have always believed that.”
Indeed, in the premortal world, we were all taught God’s Plan of Happiness and undoubtedly knew it by heart, voiced our approval and looked forward to “our time on earth” with anticipation. As God queried Job, “Where was thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? Declare, if thou have understanding … “When the morning stars sang together and all the sons of God shouted for joy.” (Job 37: 4 and 7).
Now that we are on mortal earth; if we choose to honestly try to find and learn the fullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ; it will have “a familiar spirit” when we hear it. If we pray about it with real intent having faith in Christ, the Holy Ghost will witness its truth to our mind and heart. (BM, Moroni 10: 4)
Appendix 2 – Is an overview of the “Apostasy from the Church and Gospel that Jesus Christ established in the meridian of time;” documented by secular and biblical histories, scriptural prophesies and analysis.
It describes the struggle Jesus Christ’s Apostles had as they tried to stay alive and keep His Gospel doctrinally pure in each of the growing number of congregations (churches) in Roman Empire cities. An effort made more difficult because only 5-10 percent of the Roman Empire were literate, most communication was oral, Apostolic letters were copied and recopied by hand on parchment or papyrus (high risk of error); sent to different churches, read aloud in church groups and discussed.
It includes key events and turning points that occurred over the 17 centuries following the death of the last Apostle, John, circa AD 100 (John wrote the last letters canonized in the New Testament.).
Such events and turning points include the terrible persecution campaigns conducted by the Roman Empire against Christian believers for 248 years; starting in AD 64 and ending in AD 312 when pagan Roman Emperor Constantine (AD 272-337) said he had a dream about using the emblem of the cross in his military conquests. He transformed Christianity overnight from a persecuted religion into one of privilege, over which, he personally presided and directed.
It tells how “Nicene Christianity” became the official state religion of the Roman Empire in AD 380; the fall of Roman Empire circa AD 476 and the state church filling a political void.
It tells of events during the millennia called the Dark or Middle ages, including the split of the catholic church between east (Orthodox Catholic – headquartered in Constantinople) and west (Roman Catholic– headquartered in Rome) with reciprocal excommunication between the two; termed the Schism of 1054. The Roman Catholic church would become the state church of most, if not all European countries. The Eastern Orthodox Catholic Church became the state religion of countries to the east; e.g. today’s Greek and Russian Orthodox Catholic churches.
It describes other major events including the “inquisitions” conducted by leaders of the Roman state-church to identify and legaly prosecute those who would not conform to church policy and doctrine; charging them with heresy, a capital crime, often burning at the stake. (The inquisitions lasted for centuries; the Spanish Inquisition ended by royal decree in 1834).
It tells of the “sale of indulgences (receiving church forgiveness for sin in exchange for money or personal time – Martin Luther’s “95 Thesis” principle criticism).” The funds raised were used to finance beautiful church buildings and programs. To finance armies and obtain army enlistments – to fight against expansion of Islam and take back the Holy Land. There were nine Holy-Land Crusades between 1095-1271; 1-3 million died. The church initiated other campaigns to put down “heretical” breakaway movements such as the Waldensians.
It gives an overview of the Protestant Reformation and the reformers; the influence of the printing press in advancing the reformation; the telescope in disproving religious and political beliefs about space and the rotation of planets.
It presents comparisons of key church doctrines with scriptural citations and providing analysis.
It concludes with the founding of America, a new nation, unique in the world; founded on principles of individual and religious freedom; that “all men are created equal.” Albeit, applying the principles to “all” is still a work in progress.
Commentary – Anyone can independently find more information about the matters referenced herein by typing the names, events or scriptural citations into their Internet search engine.
However, both truth and fiction are posted on the Internet; decertation is advised. Some histories were written by “historians” working under the direction of powerful leaders; analogous to Egyptian Pharaohs rewriting even obliterating history in their favor. Some of the available histories are comingled with legends, traditions and narratives that have been sufficiently repeated over time to take on an air of legitimacy that laity of all stripes accept at face value and perpetuate. Someone said, “history is written by winners – or survivors.” Indeed, historical research often requires an investigative mind to separate truth from propaganda.
When it comes to scriptural accounts, it is noteworthy to realize that the Holy Bible contains only a fraction of the letters written by the Apostles and their companions; many records were likely burned during the two and a half centuries of Roman Empire persecutions (AD 64-312). Thus, many letters in the New Testament, can only present one side of two-way communication. Some matters lack clarity. For example; the Apostle Paul validating the practice of “baptism for the dead” in his response to the church members in Corinth. (I Corinthians 15: 29). What did he mean? They knew what he was talking about, but we need more information.
Jesus Christ provided that information and answered those and many other questions when he restored his pristine Gospel to the earth in the early 1800s. (Appendix 1 and 5).
Appendices 3 and 4 – Are brief descriptions of how different denominations (versions) of Christianity came to England and Scandinavia; the lands of Mary Kay’s and my ancestors.
Appendix 5 – Cornicles the historical events and prophesies pertaining to the “last days” when Jesus Christ would restore his Church and the fullness of his Gospel to the earth in early 1800s America; ushering in the seventh and last dispensation. The Apostle Peter called the event; “the times of the restitution of all things.” (Acts 3: 19-21). The Apostle Paul described it differently but with similar meaning: “That in the dispensation of the fullness of times he might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven and which are on earth, even in him.” (Ephesians 1: 10).
It tells of our Father in Heaven and his Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ, appearing to the 14-year-old boy, Joseph Smith, in a grove of trees in upper New York state in 1820 and calling him to be their Prophet through which they would restore their Church and Gospel to the earth. (PGP, Joseph Smith – History 14-17).
Commentary – Early 1800s America was the “unique” time and place - that our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ prepared to restore their Church and pristine Gospel for the final time. A time when the “idea” that “All men are created equal” didn’t exist with any country.
That was the only time and place where there was sufficient religious freedom to withstand the harsh, Satan-inspired opposition that would follow. And God did it without force; without taking away anyone’s agency. The founders of the United States of America were foreordained in the premortal world for that purpose – but it was their choice. He inspired them to pledge “our Lives, our Fortunes and our Sacred Honor” in fighting the Revolution and founding a new nation. (Declaration of Independence - 1776).
On paper, the fledgling government had no chance; limited resources, many colonists wanting to stay with England, the Continental Congress laboring months trying to find consensus on independence, arguing principally the matter of slavery, at a time when their military, under the direction of General George Washington, was out-numbered and out-gunned.
Remarkably, critical help came “just in time.” It came in the form of fog, cold and other changes in the weather. It came as inspiration when and how to act; protection of George Washington from bullets tearing through his clothes but missing his body or a sniper’s bullet not fired; finally, French munitions, ships and troops coming at the right time to lay siege to British forces at Yorktown; forcing the British commander to surrender and parliament to lose interest. The colonists hung-on and won their war for independence. They became free from the British Empire’s oppressive rule, albeit, it would take the War of 1812-15 to finally resolve matters with England. Miraculous accomplishments, impossible without God’s help!
The U.S. Constitution was ratified in 1788. The Bill of Rights, the first 10 amendments to the Constitution, was approved in 1791. With that, the colonists had founded a new nation based on principles of liberty, freedom and justice; including separation of church and state.
However, implementing the principle of “All men are created equal” has been incremental. It took the Civil War (1861-65) with the death of over 600,000 soldiers to end slavery and another century after that before critical civil rights law was passed (1964 Civil Rights Act). Passage of the Act helped a great deal, but the quest for complete “equality” has proved elusive.
While achieving equality is problematic, defining the boarders of our country has been less so. United States President James Polk (1845-1849) established the country’s final boundaries. He negotiated the treaty with England in 1846, establishing the nation’s northern boundary to the Pacific at the 49th Parallel. He fought a war Mexico that ended in a 1848 with a treaty establishing our nation’s southern boundary from Texas to California.
Appendix 6 – Explains why Mary Kay’s and my ancestors immigrated to America.
Appendices 7, 8 and 9 - Are overviews of the times and conditions in America’s Great Basin when many of Mary Kay’s and my immigrant pioneer ancestors arrived on the frontier territories of Utah and Idaho in the mid to late 1800s and began, by hand and draft animal, to convert the sagebrush desert into productive irrigated and dry farms, hugely arduous tasks.
Mary Kay – a major inspiration for writing this book
Even though Mary Kay passed away before this book was published, her influence was profound. Her personal journals, kept over most of her life, were important as either source material or corroboration of many of the stories and quotes included herein. After a half century of marriage, her thoughts, actions and desires are second nature to me. I could not write this book without thinking of her.
At the outset, I accepted Mary Kay’s charge for me to write the preliminary drafts; she would review my writings and make editorial comment. We agreed that I would perform the original research on my genealogical lines and she would do the same on hers. Her passing limited research on her lines.
“It needs more humor”
When I completed writing early drafts of the Introduction and Preface, I showed them to Mary Kay and asked her opinion. She said, “I don’t like it. I laughed and said, “What do you mean, you don’t like it?” She smiled and said, “It needs more humor.” I said, “What do you suggest.” She said, “Well, I would add something like Erma Bombeck’s monologue about life – Empty your pockets” (a comedic metaphor of the spirit world and God’s judgment).
Following-up on Mary Kay’s suggestion, I immediately returned to my office to research Ms. Bombeck’s history and published monologues on the Internet. I showed Mary Kay my next draft. She said, “That’s better.”
In her monologue, Bombeck tells what it might be like when she dies and stands before a higher court to give an accounting of how she chose to spend her time on mortal earth. “So, empty your pockets,” she’s hypothetically told. She is to give her report on how she managed the good things that were given to her at birth; showing love and kindnesses to others, developing her talents and achieving her dreams. She is to empty her pockets to see if there is anything left. She responds, “I have nothing to return. I spent everything you gave me. I’m as naked as the day I was born.”
Mary Kay chuckled at Bombeck’s metaphor because it characterized how she chose to live her life – to be happy and emulate Jesus Christ. Because of him, our “weak things” become strong and our lives enriched. (BM, Ether 12:27).
Oh, how I love that principled, beautiful, well-read, intelligent, wise, honest and straight-forward lady. I regret that I did not cherish her more when we were together – I was too preoccupied with “business.” I pray for her and God’s forgiveness.
I miss her dearly and look forward to the time when we are reunited – grateful to Our Father-in-Heaven for his Plan of Happiness that He announced to us all when we assembled in premortal councils to be instructed about His Plan; “For behold, this is my work and my glory to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” (PGP, Moses 1:39 and Appendix 1). His Plan was implemented by His Firstborn in the spirit and His Only Begotten Son in the flesh; our magnificent Lord, Savior, Redeemer, Exemplar and Friend, Jesus Christ.
Because of Jesus Christ’s redeeming sacrifice, Mary Kay and I were able to make eternal marriage covenants in one of His Holy Temples. Inscribed on each Temple, “The House of the Lord, Holiness to the Lord.” (Psalm 23: 6 and Exodus 39: 30).
The eternal efficacy of such marriage is conditioned upon our worthiness. But if we repent and strive to be true and faithful to our Savior to the end - his redeeming sacrifice that began in the Garden of Gethsemane where he bled at every pore as he took upon himself the sins and transgressions of all of us (D&C 19:18) and ended on the Cross when he said “It is finished” (John 19:30); will “wash” us clean; and make it possible for the Holy Ghost to seal (certify, authenticate) our marriage ordinance and covenants for eternity. The same promise applies to everyone who desires those blessings and chooses to act. Because of Jesus Christ, “families can (indeed) be together, forever.”
Mary Kay’s example showed us how to “empty our pockets”
At each changing season of her life, Mary Kay demonstrated her love for God and neighbor by using her acquired skills and marvelous wisdom, knowledge and talents to serve her family and others. Over the years, she received numerous cards and letters from people thanking her for her kindnesses, hand-made gifts, wise insight and advice – I continue to receive compliments about her to this day.
Mary Kay completed the mortal phase of her life, one month shy of turning 71; and 49 years and one week from the day we made eternal marriage covenants in the Lord’s Logan, Utah Temple. Moments before she died, I was kneeling by her side, with my hands on her head, pleading with the Lord to let her stay a little longer. She passed away quickly and peacefully, in the manner she wanted; medical experts could not revive her.
The Lord has promised that, “… he that hath faith in me to be healed and is not appointed unto death, shall be healed” (D&C 42: 48). It was Mary Kay’s appointed time.
Mary Kay met her challenges with faith, grace and optimism
Mary Kay was a hard worker and an ardent reader of the scriptures and good books. She found peace in her love for our Father in Heaven and our Savior Jesus Christ. She had many witnesses from the Holy Ghost of God’s truth and direction – witnesses that in some cases are too sacred to express, except to family and close friends who are attuned to God’s Spirit.
She did not despair when life was hard. Rather, she “turned her face to the wind,” counted her blessings, worked to make things better for her and her family and had faith that God was in charge and things would work out. (BM, Helaman 5: 12).
When asked her advice in a Sunday School class on how we should respond to the seemingly endless terrorist acts, wars and rumors of wars, contention, conflicts, worries about climate, disease and other jarring’s in today’s world, she quoted, “… let your hearts be comforted … all flesh is in my hands; be still and know that I am God.” (D&C 101: 16)
Mary Kay has, like the Apostle Paul, resisted worldly influences. She “finished (her) course and kept the faith” (II Timothy 4:7) - true and faithful to the end. Thus, God removed her from the health, emotional and mental stress and other afflictions she suffered in mortality so that she might have peace.
Like a living hand removed from a lifeless glove - She lives in the world of spirits
Our immortal spirit body looks similar to our mortal body, except, like the metaphorical hand in a glove, our spirit is alive, immortal, matter “more fine or pure” (D&C 131: 7-8). The elements of our mortal body will return to the “dust”- until the flesh and bone (not blood) elements are reunited with our spirit body in the resurrection.
The Lord teaches that “the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body … are taken home to that God who gave them life … those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness which is called Paradise; a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care and sorrow.” (BM, Alma 40: 3-26). Mary Kay would often say, “after we die, there is nothing here, other than relationships, we will desire.”
After a marvelous reunion with family and friends living in the world of spirits in a state or condition called Paradise, Mary Kay has joined them in furthering our Father in Heaven’s purposes by teaching the fullness of the pristine, unadulterated, Gospel of Jesus Christ to those living in a condition called Prison. (D&C 138: 30-37; 1 Peter 4: 6; D&C 76 and Appendix 1).
Prior to the final judgement and resurrection, every person who has ever lived on earth will have had the opportunity – either in mortality or in the world of spirits - to be taught the pristine Gospel of Jesus Christ and of their own free will and choice, decide if they will repent and “enter into the straight gate and narrow way” and keep God’s commandments, covenants and ordinances – or not. (Matthew 7: 13-14 and BM, 3 Nephi 14: 13-14).
During Mary Kay’s last years in mortality, her body was weak. She was unable to walk but short distances without stopping to catch her breath. A close friend of Mary Kay, Marianne Hansen, told me that after Mary Kay died, she had a dream where she saw Mary Kay running in a field; Mary Kay exclaimed, “I can run!”
My work on earth is not yet complete
Different from my exceptional sweetheart, I have more work to do. With the help of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and looking to His and Mary Kay’s examples, I am striving to love as He loves, forgive “seventy times seven,” eschew pride and other sins, repent (repeatedly), obey His commandments, pray often to my Father in Heaven in the name of Jesus Christ, look for opportunities to serve others and do my part in furthering his work and keeping my eternal covenants. I seek to be one in unity with Jesus Christ and Our Father in Heaven (John 17: 20-21); giving to them the only thing I actually own, “my will;” striving to do everything they ask.
Life stories are case studies – they can help us make better choices
The stories, observations, commentaries and testimonies included herein are intended to be thought-provoking; an incentive for each of us to reevaluate our lives; to better understand reality and make better choices. Every choice we make has a consequence.
Regarding the consequences of choices, Russian-American writer and philosopher Ayn Rand (1905-1982) said, “People may ignore reality, but no one can ignore the consequences of reality.”
Commentary - The Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ is reality. If we want to successfully navigate through the “clutter” of this mortal proving ground where the great deceiver and counterfeiter, Lucifer, aka Satan, the serpent or the devil and his followers have enormous influence, we need Jesus Christ to help us make the “best” choices.
When observing the prideful behavior of people making obviously poor, self-serving choices, Mary Kay would sometimes smile and comment to me, “You know, all flesh is grass.” (1 Peter 1: 24-25); “For all flesh is as grass, and the glory of man as the flower of grass. The grass withers and the flower thereof fall away; but the word of the Lord [the pristine, unadulterated Gospel of Jesus Christ] endures forever.”
Mary Kay and I have learned that life is better when we strive to repent and live a Christ-centered life; to search for, find and enter into the “strait gate” and “narrow way” that leads to eternal life spoken of by our marvelous Savior, Jesus Christ, (Matthew 7:14). Expressed another way; “hold fast to the iron rod” (BM, 1 Nephi 8); remain true and faithful to the end (D&C 14: 7) and enjoy the peace Jesus Christ offers (John 14: 26-27).
Concluding thought
One of God’s modern Prophets and Apostles, Gordon B. Hinckley (1910-2008), offered this daily-living advice to those who strive to live a Christ-centered life; “Keep trying. Be believing. Be happy. Don’t get discouraged. Things will work out.”
If we follow the prophet’s counsel, we will be able to successfully meet life’s challenges and pressures because Our Father in Heaven and our Savior Jesus Christ will help us. The stories in this book repeatedly illustrate the point, “With men, this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19: 26).