Autobiography
Harold R “Hal” and Mary Kay Southwick Bunderson
And Biographical Profiles of Our Parents, Siblings and Grandparents
The family history part of our genealogical research
CHAPTER 2
Courtship, graduate and marriage – Employed in LA
Mary Kay and I were attracted to each other before we met. We saw each other at Church where many Weber State University students living off-campus attended. I was impressed with her striking beauty, crisp clean appearance, warmth of character, spirituality and humor. Mary Kay said she liked my comments in the Gospel Doctrine class and sense of humor. She said she concluded before we met that I was the man she was to marry; but at that time, my focus was graduating from Weber State as soon as possible.
Index
Courtship
- Our first date - Mary Kay set the stage – I followed through
- My priorities - graduate from college – then get married
- Our low-budget courtship
- Campus job interviews
- Incredible, I received a job offer from Arthur Andersen - on campus
- “Whither thou goest, I will go”- I accept the Arthur Andersen offer
- We both Graduate from Weber State - May, 1964 – excited about our future
- Remarkable timing – Thiokol lay-off in May – start Arthur Andersen in July
- Back from Chicago - driving to Los Angeles – will marry in four months
- Choose to live in a beautiful spot, I will affect your attitude
- Next four months - living apart – planning our marriage
- My initial performance at Arthur Andersen – not so good
- “You’re a Mormon and went on a mission? You have your loan!”
Marriage
- Married over Thanksgiving week – Logistically complex; unromantic; practical
- We planned our marriage over Thanksgiving week - Logistically-complex
- Temple Recommend worthiness interview - stake president - what a joy
- I was almost late for my own wedding
- Temple marriage – Beautiful
- Meanwhile, outside the Temple - Anne and Rod were decorating our car
- Married in Logan - reception in Tremonton - leave for LA – 12 hours
- No traditional honeymoon, but we were to happy – we were together
Courtship
Our first date - Mary Kay set the stage – I followed through – I often did homework at the Weber State library a few hours before my night classes began. It was the dinner hour for most students and the large study hall, filled with rows and rows of heavy tables and chairs with book shelves on the side was typically almost empty.
Mary Kay and I had not formally met, but we had seen each other at Church, so we were not total strangers. Mary Kay said that one of her roommates told her that she sometimes saw me at the library during the late afternoons. Based on this intelligence, Mary Kay said she decided to go to the library in hopes of arranging a meeting. One day she saw me setting alone in the center of the largely empty hall.
I was studying with my head in a book when this beautiful woman walked up to my table, pointed to the chair across from me and said, “Do you mind if I set there?”
So much for studying! Before I left for my night class, I had asked Mary Kay out to dinner and a movie in Salt Lake – Saturday, February 29, 1964 – three months later, we would both graduate and be engaged to be married.
Commentary – After we were married, Mary Kay had great fun teasing me about my nervousness driving home from our first date. With my right arm over her shoulder, I was preoccupied. Three times, I took the same “wrong” off-ramp and had to circle back to try again. She recorded in her journal, “Redwood road seemed like a country wilderness then. I teased him that it’s too early to park. The laughter eased tensions and we had a wonderful time.”
My priorities - graduate from college – then get married - By not starting college until age 24 and having no money except what I earned at Thiokol, I felt time was against me. So motivated, I worked full-time and carried a full class-load – little time for sleep, albeit Saturday, most of Sunday and school breaks were less pressured.
Based on my self-imposed time-line, I decided to delay marriage until I found suitable life-long employment in the accounting profession. Fortunately, Mary Kay’s love for me was deep enough for her to look past my arbitrary and not-well-thought-out plan.
Commentary – My typical work/school day follows: Sunday through Thursday night: I caught the commuter bus to Thiokol an hour and a half before my eight-hour shift began at 12 midnight (I slept on the bus); a total of 12 hours a day was devoted to work and commuting.
When I returned home each morning, I had just enough time to eat, shower and change before rushing to attend my first class. In the mid-afternoon, except when cramming for a night class exam, I came home from school, ate and slept for about three hours until my night classes began (I was so tired that when I laid on my bed, my body literally throbbed). When I got home from my night classes, I changed clothes and drove to the bus stop – and started the cycle all over again.
While I clearly felt driven to put my education goals ahead of everything else, I later came to regret that I had failed to adequately include my Savior - and later Mary Kay in my decision-making process. I have sought forgiveness from the Lord and Mary Kay for my many failings.
Our low-budget courtship - After Mary Kay and I were engaged, but before I could afford to give her a ring, she would often drive with me to catch the Thiokol bus, take the car and return the next morning to pick me up. I feigned that it made sense for her to take the car because I was worried about leaving it parked all night at that remote area. However, my primary reason was to spend more time with her. Our love was warm and our physical attractions strong, but we held that in check so we could qualify for a Temple marriage.
Our courtship consisted of driving to places of interest, an occasional movie and school dance and trips to see our parents and family.
One Friday night, I invited Mary Kay to a dance at the Weber State Student Union building. She had kept the car that day while I was attended classes. She washed it and left it outside my apartment, about six blocks from her apartment. Then she waited for me to come home, change and pick her up. When I didn’t show up at the arranged time, she got worried and walked to my apartment and asked one of my roommates where I was.
The fact was that I didn’t forget, I was just too tired. After my afternoon classes, I returned home and fell asleep on my twin-bed until my roommate woke me and told me my girlfriend was waiting outside. Embarrassed, I hurried and dressed in a suit while she waited in the car.
We got to the dance a bit late, but had a wonderful time. Again, she demonstrated character traits that I admired; she was reliable, decisive, patient, understanding - and forgiving.
Campus job interviews – Prospective employers generally came on campus two times each year for recruiting interviews. The fall interview was to screen the applicants. For those they liked, they scheduled a second interview about two months prior to graduation.
Since 1964 was Weber State’s first 4-year graduating class. Most of the large accounting and auditing firms did not come on campus. However, Arthur Andersen &Co. (Arthur Andersen or Firm), another “Big 8” accounting firm and certain federal auditing agencies, corporate businesses and smaller CPA firms came.
Incredible, I received a job offer from Arthur Andersen - on campus – It was Arthur Andersen’s strict policy to not hire anyone until after the candidate had come to the hiring office and had undergone a series of informal, vetting interviews – typically, the recruit met separately with campus interviewing partner, another partner, two managers and had lunch with staff. If anyone voiced concern about a recruit; they would not receive a job offer.
The man leading Arthur Andersen’s recruiting team on campus that year was Dan Hicken, head of the Firm’s Small Business Division in Los Angeles and a well-known partner throughout the Firm. After my second interview, he made a job offer; staff auditor in his Small Business Division in Los Angeles; salary $500 a month plus overtime (about $4,000 in 2020 dollars).
Commentary - Years later when I became acquainted with the Firm’s prospective-employee vetting process, I was shocked. I should have never received a job offer on campus. Dan clearly used his senior position to override Firm policy.
I am certain that if Dan had sent me to Los Angeles for in-office interviews, my business weaknesses would have been exposed and I would not have received an offer.
But it happened! Me, a poor farm boy from Stone, Idaho/Tremonton, Utah with no business experience received a job offer, on campus, from the prestigious international accounting, auditing and consulting firm of Arthur Andersen & Co., a firm that audited about 20 percent of all the publicly traded companies in the world.
We didn’t see it at the time, but when I understood more about Firm policy, it begged the question; why did Dan hire me on campus? Mary Kay and I came to know the correct answer; God is involved in the detail of each person’s life and Dan was a recipient of His inspiration. Without it, I would likely not have been hired and our lives, and the lives of our children, would have been dramatically different; we would have likely not lived in Loa Angeles, Atlanta or even Boise. Five years later, Dan would tell me his side of the story. (see Chapter 11 – “Hal, do you know why I hired you?”).
“Whither thou goest, I will go”- I accept the Arthur Andersen offer – After the campus interviews, I received four job offers that I found interesting – the starting salary for each was comparable. My accounting professor was impressed with Arthur Andersen. He said that it was one of the largest accounting firms in the world and highly regarded for their training programs. He told me if I accepted their offer, I should expect significant overtime and travel.
Mary Kay and I discussed each offer. Each necessitated working in a large city on either the east or the west coast. I asked her opinion. She said it was my decision. I asked, “How do you feel about living in Los Angeles.” She responded by quoting Ruth 1: 16, “… whither thou goest, I will go and where thou lodgest, I will lodge …” Mary Kay never wavered from that commitment.
Commentary – Mary Kay gave me a 8x11 inch picture of her dated, “Spring of 1964” with a letter penned on the back. In writing these stories, I was prompted to read her letter again. I was struck with the thought that even though she passed away several years ago, she lives in the world of spirits, thus her letter still has poignant meaning to me. She concluded; “Darling, take care of yourself. My thoughts and prayers will be for you always; wherever you go. Remember me always for I love you. It is a young love, yet, I love you more today than yesterday, but less than I will tomorrow.”
I sent my letter of acceptance to Dan Hicken and received a letter from the Arthur Andersen LA office manager confirming I would start employment when I left Salt Lake City for Chicago where I would attend the Firm’s three-week training school on the campus of Northwestern University. He would send a round-trip airline ticket to me. He directed me to report to him at the Firm’s Los Angeles office at a specified date following the school. (See Chapter 11).
We both Graduate from Weber State - May, 1964 – excited about our future - I received a Bachelor of Science in Accounting and Mary Kay a two-year Associate of Science - Life Sciences degrees. We were to be married as soon as I was settled in my new job,
Mary Kay had work experience and now, academic credentials. She was qualified to find work in a variety of disciplines and was anxious to find a job as soon as we got settled in Los Angeles.
For me, it had been three years and eight months since I returned from my mission and started college; two months shy of my goal of three and a half years. During that time, I had been in school full time, except for the two quarters I missed for employment reasons. I was ready to start my career with Arthur Andersen.
Remarkable timing - Laid-off at Thiokol in May – started with Arthur Andersen in July – The same month I graduated from Weber State, Thiokol announced a plant-wide lay-off (two-week’s notice). I was included in the layoff. I had already told my boss that I had accepted a job with Arthur Andersen starting in July, but we had not discussed my separation date. If he knew about the up-coming layoff, he did not discuss it with me.
After graduation, Mary Kay returned to Connell. Two weeks later, I had her engagement ring and drove to Connell to give it to her - and spend a week to get acquainted with her family.
Before I left for Chicago, she came to Ogden to stay with her sister Patsy. Mary Kay kept our car and drove me to the Salt Lake City Airport and picked me up when I returned.
Commentary – My employment at Thiokol lasted just long enough for me to graduate from Weber State – and begin employment with Arthur Andersen. Exactly what I needed to finance my education and a little more. Remarkable!
Our tangible assets at the time consisted of a few hundred dollars cash savings and a car with several months of car payments remaining. I paid cash for Mary Kays rings and had no debt. I would receive my first 2-week payroll check from Arthur Andersen while I was in Chicago.
Our tangible assets were few, but our intangible wealth was considerable. We had each other’s love, blessings from God, a supportive family, a college education and a terrific job. I knew that I was substantially better off than I had ever hoped when I started college four years earlier.
When I gave Mary Kay her engagement ring, she suggested we get married before I left for Arthur Andersen’s Chicago training school in July. However, I felt we were too poor and I needed to get established in Los Angeles first. Hindsight; I should have listened to Mary Kay.
Back from Chicago - driving to Los Angeles – will marry in four months - When I flew back from Chicago to Salt Lake City, Mary Kay was waiting at the airport with open arms. I returned her to her sister’s home near Ogden. We kissed and kissed goodbye. Then I left this beautiful woman that I loved and drove to Tremonton to pick-up the rest of my personal items and begin my drive to Los Angles.
When I kissed my mother goodbye and left her home, she stood on the front porch with a handkerchief waving goodbye.
Commentary - I felt deep anguish and wept as I left my mother’s home, knowing I was embarking on a new but necessary “rest-of-my-life” adventure, far from the place where I grew-up and the family I loved.
I was not too concerned about living in Los Angeles. I had already experienced living in the large cities of Milwaukee, Rockford and Chicago. I also felt okay about being employed by a large public accounting firm because of my mission president role model. Additionally, I had family role models; my two brothers-in-law, Jim Knighton (Nona’s husband) and Oris Rudd (Delphia’s husband). Both had obtained college degrees and with their families moved to other parts of the country, and were very successful. With such experiences and role models, and with God’s help, I knew I could adjust and do well; I knew I could do it!
As I drove my non-air-conditioned car into the Los Angeles area with my windows down, my eyes began tearing. I soon understood what is was - something for which Los Angeles was famous - smog. In a few days, my eyes adjusted to the pollution.
Choose to live in a beautiful spot, I will affect your attitude - When I got to Los Angles, I stayed in a motel for three days near the Arthur Andersen office until I found and rented a furnished apartment. It was providential that I found an apartment that was clean and neat with a lot of light. It was the front part of a home owned by a retired couple who lived in the back part of the house. The small front yard was concrete, making parking off the street very convenient. The apartment had two bedrooms, living room and kitchen. The cleanliness and neatness of this home had a positive effect on my disposition.
I liked living there. After a few weeks, a friend at church asked if I wanted to share apartment costs with his friend who had recently joined the Church and was planning to get married. I agreed.
During the four months before Mary Kay and I were married, I became acquainted with many other young couples at the office - and at Church - they were anxious to meet Mary Kay.
Mary Kay was living at her parents’ home in Connell, applying her seamstress skills in making her own beautiful white wedding dress that had a detachable train. By detaching the train, she was able to wear her wedding dress for her Temple ordinances.
Next four months - living apart – we planned our marriage - Following my arrival in Los Angeles in August, we continued our romance through letters and less frequent telephone calls. One matter we discussed was where we would live after we married. We concluded that I should find an unfurnished apartment (6-month lease) in the Wilshire Ward boundaries where I was establishing friendships and a few miles from Arthur Andersen’s office.
I would buy a bed and have it delivered before I left for our marriage in Logan and we would buy other furniture after we were together - as we could afford it.
Commentary – I thought the apartment I selected was pretty good, but I did not follow my own advice about paying attention to aesthetics; the things that made living a pleasure. Rather, I used practical criteria; one bedroom, clean, second floor for security and not too far from my office and the Church.
After we moved-in, we discovered having an apartment near the campus of the University of Southern California left a lot to be desired. Fortunately, it was a six-month lease.
We could have opted to stay in the furnished apartment where I was living. But decided against that option because we wanted room to put furniture for the house we hoped to buy as soon as we had the money for a down payment; ten percent down payment was typical.
My initial performance at Arthur Andersen – not so good – I did not perform well at the Firm’s Chicago training school and my first audit engagement in Los Angeles. However, things improved on each succeeding job, most certainly after we were married. At the conclusion of my first year with the Firm, my overall performance was rated above average to outstanding – and I received a commensurate salary increase. (see Chapter 11 – Arthur Andersen – first 24 married years – four cities).
Commentary – It was my mistake that we lived apart for four months; Mary Kay in Connell and Ogden, me in Los Angeles. Our lives and my job performance would have been much better if we had been together that whole time. However, I don’t bemoan my failure, things worked out.
“You’re a Mormon and went on a mission? - You have your loan!” – Although my salary at Arthur Andersen was very good, it was insufficient for newlyweds starting their life with essentially no savings or household goods.
Mary Kay and I agreed that before I left for our marriage, I would get a $600 bank loan (about $5,000 in 2020 dollars) and apply for a credit card at the nearby Sears store where we would buy the furniture and household items we needed.
When I went to the bank where I had my direct-deposit checking account to apply for the loan, I was taken aback by the loan officer’s frankness - a dose of reality. I was a poor credit risk! I had no collateral. I had a job, but had only been employed for a few months and I had not come with a performance reference. For all the loan officer knew, I could have been fired from Arthur Andersen the next day.
I quickly realized that there was no objective basis for the officer to grant credit to me. While she was impressed that a prestigious firm like Arthur Andersen had hired me, I still had not passed the CPA exam and my only asset was a car on which I was making payments.
As my brief interview concluded and I stood to leave; as though it was an afterthought; the loan officer asked; “You’re 28. Why did it take you so long to graduate from college?”
I said, “My father died when I was 15. After high school, I worked four years and saved money to serve a two-year mission for my church. I did not start college until I returned in September, 1960 at age 24. I worked nights to finance my education and graduated in May, 1964. I began my employment with Arthur Andersen in July and here I am - getting married in two weeks.
She exclaimed! “You’re a Mormon and went on a mission?” I said, “Yes.” She said, “You have your loan.”
Commentary – When I walked out of the bank, I did not take time to analyze what just happened. However, after we were married, Mary Kay and I reviewed the matter. Even though I had been a bank customer since arriving in Los Angeles, the loan officer needed evidence I was a good credit risk. She apparently concluded that if I was willing to delay college and marriage to voluntarily serve a two-year, full-time mission for God, the bank had zero risk.
To Mary Kay and me, the experience reaffirmed that God is in the detail of each person’s life and the loan officer was a recipient of His inspiration. She was impressed to ask one more question! For our part, we saw again how the Lord blessed us. Had we not received that loan, our early married life would have been a bit more Spartan.
Marriage
Married over Thanksgiving week – Logistically complex; unromantic; practical - To minimize the amount of time I would take off from work without pay, we planned our marriage around Arthur Andersen’s paid two-day Thanksgiving holiday. Adding two weekends and four non-paid days off, we had 10 days.
We had arranged to be married in the Logan, Utah Temple on Monday, November 23. Our plan had to happen like clockwork: I would leave for Utah after work on Thursday afternoon, November 19, and drive (800 miles and 13 hours) to my mother’s home in Tremonton. Mary Kay would be staying with relatives in Logan. I would pick her up to join me for my appointments mother had arranged: State-required blood test on Friday and my Temple Recommend interviews with my Bishop and Stake President on Sunday (My Church records were still in Tremonton).
Our Marriage day: Monday morning, we would be married. Our parents and families were hosting a reception for us that evening at mother’s Tremonton church cultural hall. Following our reception, we would complete packing our car and leave for Los Angeles.
Everything went as planned. We arrived at our apartment Tuesday evening. Wednesday morning, we went to the Sears “discontinued, damaged and repossessed store” and bought furniture that was delivered on Friday.
Temple Recommend worthiness interview with my stake president - what a joy – My stake president, George C. Ficklin, conducted my temple worthiness interview with Mary Kay present – it was wonderful.
This remarkable man had known me most of my life. He was a medical doctor and had been our family physician since I was a boy. As my ecclesiastical leader, he had interviewed me for my mission six years earlier and at that time told me the story of his conversion to the Church while he was in medical school. Now he was interviewing me for a Temple Recommend before my marriage. I had enormous respect for this marvelous man. He knew my limitations, but like our Savior, he still loved me and offered sage advice to Mary Kay and me. What a joy.
I was almost late for my own wedding - My mother, Cleo and his wife Shirley and I drove to Logan from mother’s home in Tremonton – we were 30 minutes late in leaving. Mary Kay was at the Temple, waiting and worrying – she said the Temple ordinance workers attending her were getting worried too - all were greatly relieved when we finally arrived – with hardly a minute to spare.
Temple marriage - Beautiful - Mary Kay and I, our parents, adult brothers and sisters and close friends who held Temple recommends first attended a sacred 2-hour “endowment” session that ended in the Celestial room. We then went to a Sealing Room where a few dozen of our family and friends were gathered and the sealer spoke of sacred matters concerning our Savior Jesus Christ, aspects of the marriage ordinance itself and the covenants we were about to make. He then invited Mary Kay and me to come forward and kneel across the altar from each other. There he performed the sacred marriage ceremony where we made eternal covenants between each other and Jesus Christ; married for time and eternity. It was wonderful.
Meanwhile, outside the Temple - Anne and Rod were decorating our car - When we left the Temple at about 2 p.m., we were shocked. Mary Kay’s little brother and sister, Rodney and Anne, too young to be with us in the Temple, were outside implementing their plan to give us a traditional sendoff. Using a paint brush and light-blue washable paint, they had written “Just Married” several times on our newly washed white car and tied tin cans to the rear bumper. As Mary Kay and I drove from the Temple to my mother’s home in Tremonton for lunch, we littered the streets as the tin cans broke off – before littering was a crime.
Married in Logan, reception in Tremonton and leave for LA – 12 hours - Our parents and families decorated the Cultural Hall of the Church’s Tremonton Meetinghouse for our reception. We had a reception line and recorded dance music. The five-layered spice wedding cake and hors D’ oeuvres were terrific.
Following our reception, we, with the help of family, loaded our wedding gifts into every nook and cranny of our car; said goodbye and headed for Los Angeles.
We did not have a traditional honeymoon, but we were to happy – we were together – It was past 10 p.m. when we changed out of my rented tuxedo and Mary Kay out of her wedding gown into traveling clothes, got in our car and headed for Los Angeles, lunching on the top two layers of our wedding cake that someone placed atop our gifts and luggage in the back seat.
Except for the bed, freezer and my clothes left in our unfurnished Los Angeles apartment, everything we owned was with us. The weight in the trunk caused the nose of our car to point up - our rear bumper skimming the asphalt.
Commentary – Heading to California; we thought we were much like the then popular TV show “Beverly Hillbillies;” except different from their storyline, we had no oil well. But we had what mattered most; we had each other. What a joy – we couldn’t be happier.
We laughed, reminisced and hugged the entire distance – much of it through the desert with little traffic to disturb us. While a traditional honeymoon eluded us, we made up for it in later years by going on destination trips and tours to several resorts and cities in the U.S. and abroad. We went on music, history and genealogy tours and vacation trips to places and cities in Canada, England, Whales, Denmark, Sweden, Finland, Russia, Egypt and Israel.
My Los Angles friends filled our social calendar before we were married - Before I left for Utah, some of my LA married friends invited us to Thanksgiving dinner, a drive around town to show Mary Kay the sights and weekend evening dinner parties. Our social calendar was full before Mary Kay had a chance to meet anyone.
On Sunday we would go to Church and on Monday morning, I would report to work. Mary Kay would be at home without a car, but there was a bus-stop in front of our apartment complex (I thought, not good, Mary Kay said “I’ll be fine”).